Christopher J Wesley | Fine Art and Fiction Artist
Chris Wesley is an award winning author, fine art photographer, musician, music producer and poet.
The ads are everywhere trying to sell us things to make us feel sexy. From clothes to perfumes and colognes to cars, they tell you that if you own this, you won’t help but to be irresistible.
I’m not going to pretend that these things don’t help, but have you thought about how they help? Why they work?
In most cases, what these things are really giving you is permission to feel sexy. They offer up a kind of placebo effect that gives you the one thing every sexy person in the world has:
There’s a point in every relationship where you have to make yourself vulnerable if you’re going to form a deep bond with that person.
When dating, there’s no way around it.
I know, it get’s harder to do each time someone burns you and you don’t know how much more you can take without being someone you don’t want to be.
I’ve been there and through a great deal of work, figured out a few steps that allows you to show the type of vulnerability that builds genuine trust into meaningful relationships while protecting yourself.
Before you start getting all confessional though, qualify the person. That means…
Confidantes play a huge role in emotional health.They act as a sounding board, listen to and give you an outside perspective on your problems and the really good ones help you along on your journey to becoming the person you want to be.
But, how do you find the good ones?
Here are some things to consider before opening up your deep and meaningful secrets to someone.
Even good advice doesn’t apply all the time.
The trick is, to know when it isn’t going to serve your best interests.
The trouble is, you never really know if it will, until the advice isn’t taken.
Three weeks ago, I was faced with the question of doing the ‘smart’ thing or taking a chance on what I felt I needed to do.
I was offered a chance to contribute to the Poets On Site chapbook and cell phone audio tour based on Pacific Asia Museum’s “40 Years of Building the Pacific Asia Museum Collection”.
Conventional wisdom dictated that I pass. I was getting close to my pre-launch phase of my Book/CD project that is long overdue and I was going to spend half of August on vacation, which means I work on nothing.
But for all the reasons of focus that were apparent, there was still an excuse hiding beneath the reasons—the feared that I lost my poetic voice.
With the recent passing of Amy Winehouse, I was asked by several people what I thought of it since I’m also an artist. Frankly, when asked, I didn’t feel like bothering with the conversation that supports my answer to the question.
So, I’m readdressing the question here and now, but first, with some perspective on creativity and the psychology of pain as I know it some of the questions up front that my answer would provoke.