The idea of making a life I wanted to lead seemed impossible.
I had worked my ass off trying to forge a career in music, only to lose heart before ever reaching that goal. That was the first time I considered suicide.
It was music that had saved my life as a teenager, and it was still in my head that it was the only road I could take towards a life worth leading.
The only reason I didn’t kill myself that day was because I decided I hadn’t run out of fight. I just needed to explore a different route and see what that would offer me.
I went back to school then. Full time job plus full time school. After a few quarters I half considered going to school part-time to alleviate some of the stress I was faced with.
Then the layoffs started at my job and it became a race for me. Trying to get as far through school as I could before I found myself having to look for a job.
I lived alone in my apartment, so any loss of income wasn’t going to be made up by anyone else. With no safety net, in the back of my mind, I consoled myself with the idea that if everything went to hell, I still had the option to kill myself.
No one knew about the attempt, so it wasn’t like anyone was looking out for that.
The death of a sister was only one of many challenges outside of work and school that I had to fit in among all the work I had.
But I did it. In three years, I graduated and the idea of suicide had gone away. Making it through school had given me a new strength of character because of all the things I had to navigate to get there.
Which brings me to you.
Is there something that you’re after, but it seems too hard a road to take?
My unsolicited advice is to go for it anyways and to hell with the naysayers. Especially the ones who previously pretended to be in your corner.
When I went back to school, I literally had people laugh at me, that I originally thought would be supportive. Others tried to sabotage me. To this day, I have some who don’t give me an ounce of credit for what I did.
It doesn’t matter. I did it anyways.
I understand that the odds may be against you. That there are people in your life feeding your fears. Don’t listen to them.
Seek out those who will support you, even if only through kind words and an ear to hear your troubles.
As one who grew up being told he was worthless and stupid, but did it anyways, I’m hear to tell you that you can do it too.
Whatever it is, take it on and DM me if you ever need someone to tell you that you can do it.
#ExploreDiscoverBelong #findyourtribe #motivated #ArtisticAgenda #mindset #freedom #ambition #inspire #thinkbig #believe #Mentor #WontStop