After all, it was being Black that my critics cited as the reason I shouldn’t play the type of music I was playing on the guitar. Only white people were supposed to distort their sound and play with aggression.
Not the actual insect, but of the proverbial sound of nothing but their chirping when we’ve offered the best we have and that’s the response we get.
It’s not a fear without some justification since, if you put yourself out there and let your light shine, you will inevitably do so to people who have no intention on being part of your audience.
Most people don’t have any real idea of who they are outside of the opinions of others.
So I pose the question here and to start things off, I answer it for myself.
I’m not going to pretend that these things don’t help, but have you thought about how they help? Why they work?
In most cases, what these things are really giving you is permission to feel sexy. They offer up a kind of placebo effect that gives you the one thing every sexy person in the world has:
When dating, there’s no way around it.
I know, it get’s harder to do each time someone burns you and you don’t know how much more you can take without being someone you don’t want to be.
I’ve been there and through a great deal of work, figured out a few steps that allows you to show the type of vulnerability that builds genuine trust into meaningful relationships while protecting yourself.
Before you start getting all confessional though, qualify the person. That means…